Alex is the original creator of Squid Throat; it started as a personal blog where he’d post gaming-related rants, and was later resurrected as the mutant baby you see before you. Alex is a writer, contributor and half-assed idea generator for Squid Throat. He angrily attends college, where he is enrolled in a Bachelor’s of Creative Writing program. He admits that having zero money for the rest of his life is a very likely occurrence, given his life choices. He posts short fiction on Squid Throat, along with links to works that gets published. He is angry at most things, sarcastic and carefully hides deep emotional disturbances.
Alex enjoys multiplayer shooters such as the Battlefield series, sports games such as MLB the Show, and the occasional strategy game.
David is a man who drinks many beers. David is a man who has many quarters. David is also a writer, contributor, and idea-guy for Squid Throat. His focus is on developing podcasts and gameplay commentary, while also focusing on budget gaming. Budget gaming means David will bite the economic bullet and spend actual dollars on cheap, almost certainly terrible games, and report back. David is partly responsible for the resurrection of Squid Throat as a media-focused entity; it wasn’t like Alex was going to do a goddamn thing with it.
David has varied tastes when it comes to games, however professes adoration for titles such as Fallout and Call of Duty: World at War.
Ben is responsible for most of the website design and optimization. This is because Alex is an old man and technology baffles him, and David has a tendency to break things, both physically and digitally. Ben is probably the nicest person at Squid Throat, and that makes us suspicious. What’s he hiding? He also represents our PC gaming division. It consists of Ben and his fancy computer.
Ben plays many, many games of all types, and we sacrifice his sanity to trashy anime RPGs. Ben will likely be an outreach coordinator for Squid Throat; neither David nor Alex function well in normal society, and communicate mostly through screams and long silences.
Squid Throat Online:
Also known as “Squid Throat”, it is the combined efforts of the people listed above, along with outsourced art assistance from Torren Mitchell. We will eventually pay him actual dollars.
Squid Throat strives to be an alternate media source; we are angry, crass individuals and everything we post is highly opinionated but also absolutely correct (this is a joke). We don’t have many journalistic standards, but we will try to give credit where it is due and cite any sources to the best of our ability. Our commentary on our videos may be generally offensive to humans, however please note that the sort of shock-humor is just that, humor. Is it in good taste? No. Does it possibly mean something about us as people? I dunno, probably. But at least keep in mind that we are joking. Unless we’re talking about existential despair, because we feel that on the real.
Squid Throat Online gets its name from a surreal, absurdist story Alex wrote about an unnamed man who vomits live squids and wonders if he has “Squid Throat Disease (STD)”. The “online” bit was thrown on because we liked the way it sounded.
The site will wear many hats; game reviews, podcasts, essays, how-to-videos, cool art, horror stories and anything else we can think of. The only running theme is that we are angry sadmen who need to rage against the dying of the light. Got something for us to review? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org